baby, i’m feeling bootyliscious

‘do you ever see people shagging?’ he asked as we stood on my balcony. it wasn’t the first time i’d been asked that question by a guest. you see, we live opposite the a hotel. every day, 100 bedroom windows tantalisingly open their curtains begging us to look in.

when i moved in i thought i would see a gigolo-concierge appearing in room 305 and then in room 378 one hour later. i imagined naked models having out-of-control pillow fights. and i assumed that late night skinny dipping would be rigueur-du-jour. but as i tell all my guests – and they almost all ask - all i’ve seen is an obese old dude walking around without pants and a busty teen’s back as she jumped into the pool topless. hardly, mills and boon.

the reality is, it is the hotel guests who have been getting an eyeful. at first, i was very careful, gentlemanly perhaps, and made sure i was never naked in view of the windows. but gradually that changed. i reasoned five-seconds-of-flesh didn’t justify shutting my curtains. dressing in the hidden-from-the hotel’s-view bathroom was a hassle when the floor was wet. and is opening the balcony door only wearing my shirt really that bad?

well played hotel... it appears the voyeur has become the voyee.